1. |
The Rainshadow
05:40
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We’re waiting in between
The frost is hanging on in the shape of a tree
White where the morning sun can’t reach
On grass that once grew green
But has no say in how rich its pigment will be
My nervous vanity’s been slow
To see
The coyote’s coat looks like her home
In the dusty leaves
I always shared a fear
With the sawtooth agave who blossoms and then disappears
Til I got a taste of what I’d be
If all of this light
Hadn’t fallen so easy around me
Now the violet hands of the May jacarandas are blossoming
There were days that I may not have made it if they weren’t lining Granada street
Every spring they recover the colors in me
I am starting to notice their bark through the dark winter weeks
Making me learn them patiently
And deep
Like anything I’ve ever believed
I’ve known since my swollen mirror broke skin that even my best merits wait dormant for someone to draw them out of me
And though I was so sure
Which virtues I have earned
The dry rainshadow knows I’ll learn those lines are blurred
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2. |
Brushbloom Glow
03:56
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Sleep
Softly in the pink heat
Bleeding from the evening softly fleeing from the
Blue East to the coast lets just lay low
Steep
Somewhere in a half-dream
Buried in the line between the chaparral and
Pine trees
All our clarity waits deep laced in the seams
The mountainside will show its jagged face to you
As the shadows travel slow through the golden afternoon
Until I got up close I’d never known
The brushbloom glow
Scattered on the desert floor
Every year the patience of the colors makes me
Love them more
Like floorboards in our homes
Every glimpse of light I see
Is just as soon a memory
And though my logic longs for absolutes
I’m only sure of moments I once knew
And all the things that I’m not proud of but I know I don’t regret
They have made the contrast clear
Every year the faces of these people grow more dear to me
They make me see
They make me
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3. |
Salton Sea
04:07
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From a moonsoaked peak I am looking east
To a boundless, colorless sight
Where the untamed sky’s being sectioned by
Airplanes drawing straight white lines
On the valley floor light from tiny bulbs
Oscillates like flames from the homes
Someone once explained why they dance that way
But it makes no difference to know
From here
I can almost see the Salton Sea
Dark in a void between the manmade things
And if you look close you can see the ghosts of the wonders we tried to fake
We have yet to shape anything that shakes me the way that the wind up here
Whispers through the branches
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4. |
Hummingbird Pause
04:53
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My steps are louder than a train through the heavy snow that lays
Soft and seamless
Overflown
Under the Penny Pines disguised in the dull white of the day
The bark that shows looks like a shadow so
My stark quandaries rush to the top
A flood in a hummingbird pause
In my youth I was consumed in pursuit of what to do
With every stone unturned
And sold or thrown or burned
Pushing through a fragile expanse
I’m shaken by the weight of my hands
Who am I to hurt the ones who give me all I have?
The mountain frees me from entitled feelings
Forgive me I’ve just found myself
The pressure makes me someone else
Loneliness is self-sustaining
And phantom pain no less forgiving
In the city I forget how much I’ve known of both
The dreams about my father make my surest footing shake
In the quiet I crave nothing but grace
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5. |
Shoulder Seasons
04:14
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Even these trees
Are huddled tightly in the sharpness of the morning
Wearing nothing but some rotten apples on their sun-starved arms
Small underneath
A wall of grey that hardly lets the daylight to me
And no sound
But my mouth
So loud
An early freeze
Instills in me the wishful dreams of what else could be
Because the vivid ghosts of once before come when our bellies growl
But when I see
The stubborn earth is far more gracious than it could be
I breathe deep and howl
If the cold air made our bodies shake
How could we say the morning was a waste
Sometimes the shoulder seasons fill us more than what we’re waiting for
Cause without warning
We’ll find the new spring
We’ll point the car east
In search of new things
And in the soft heat
We’ll find an oak tree
You’ll find a soft spot
And lay beside me
And under young leaves glowing in the sun
We will agree these moments are enough
I'll admit that times are harder now
But I swear I’ll never turn them down
Like the seabird hovering in flight
If I am sustained, then I am alive
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6. |
The North Grove
06:09
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From the North Grove the haze has turned gold
As it savors it’s last breath
It will fade away to slowly expose
The endless blue West
Every time I look away from my feet
The sea’s gotten clearer
There’s another forest deep underneath
It just needs a revealer
And it shimmers like stars without the fog
How I wish I was pure but I am not
Up here my doubts about who I want to be
Are smaller than ever
But I spend almost all my worry on things
I’ll never remember
Now I’m level with the pelicans
Resting on a mass I can’t see
They appear to love the hunt just as much
As anything can be loved
In an instant they fold back their graceful wings
And with no hesitance let their weight fall free
When each outstretched beak
Collides with the sea
The wild thirst returns to me
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7. |
Ghosts of Happines
04:44
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Under unsure skies my eyes evaluate the light
To decide how much they can afford to let inside
And interpret the colors to try and show my mind what’s true
No matter how defined and brilliant are the hues
I tend to read them blue
A surplus of comfort tends to form a crippling hole
That lets you eat all night and never quite feel full
But leaves us haunted by years when we were still too young to know
We had as much as any human life can hold
But still worried if there could be more
When the dawn explodes
In this tawny meadow
The birdsong swallows my angst and fills my throat
Because the fear of my secrets has stolen up too many years
And I am tired of being blind to all that’s here
So I pine for day I’m finally not surprised to find
That freedom only comes inseparably tied
To promises that guide
Me honestly toward my own mind
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8. |
Thieves
04:01
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Stay in my sight
I’m dead without reference
I’ve learned my tendency
With no one close enough to see
I feed all my enemies
Stand in the light
It loves to be on you
We best let it stretch our shape
If we get too lost in the days
Routine will find our darkest traits
But if we remember when we got to see the city with no lights on
Nothing washing out the stars except the fires in the front lawns
I believe we can keep them safe
Away
I know my eyes
Were clouded without you
By words that I wrote before
There’s an ocean in my mouth
I forget how I was drowning
If we remember when we got to lay so quiet by the lakeshore
Under all the yellow tanagers that buzz around the scrub oaks
On the morning after you were there to see me hit my lowest low
I sincerely believe we will never be thieves
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